freewriting before the meet.

-i had no idea this was so long until i typed it. ruh roh.

You once named me ‘liar’
your voice is mistaken.
I just couldn’t apologize
for crimes I was too forgetful to commit.
Would you rather
I kept your lamp dark?
Sunrise doesn’t echo to your appeals,
or mine,
and if you want me
to allow you
to be foolish enough
to find safety underneath the bed
(be my guest),
you’ll find she flees
like a heartbeat from bad memories
engraved like stretch marks
where your innocence used to be.
You nodded anyway,
as though closed eyes
would make the dark more heavy
or the light less tangible
but,
honey,
this is reality,
so welcome home.
I can see you trying to erase
the absence of my ‘I’m sorry’
but chalk don’t come off so easy.
And if you really wanted to believe,
that my inability for remembrance
is a sin,
you’ll have to untie
the lampshade from around your ankles.
Electricity has no place outside of a storm,
so let me stand over my heater
and melt into wax
I’ll make you a candle.
Watch me break the dark over my forgetfulness.
You're desperate for sound
like you could stop dawn
with a scream,
but truth is a friend only to silence,
and she could never sympathize
with the backs of eyelids
or intertwined eyelashes.
So, please,
take this flame.
It might warm your throat.