a piece of a not freewrite.

This belief came out
in a government high school
institution
staring down the barrel
of an accusation
that sounded something
like this:
you’d rather believe
in omnipotent,
omniscient,
invisible
apathy
than the good of our
tangible,
realistic,
at least honest
humanity?
(apparently,
it’s not just
the righteous
who find their qualms
with me)
in reply,
I spread my arms wide
outlined with charcoal
all the lines on my wrists
I would have used
to bleed out
my insecurities
if I didn’t know
how to run.
Honey,
I said,
every shower I take
leaves stains in the tub.
They look like
diluted prayers
from all the people
who thought they couldn’t
make them holy enough
to earn a stamp
to send them
to my Almighty.
Please,
if you know what
white looks like,
I’ll leave Jesus
at the doorstep
like an afterthought,
until then
forgive my neediness,
I am tired
of my shortcomings,
we are all born
with scars.