in loving memory of Denise Brothers, not finished.

“Her favorite holiday is Halloween,”
he says.
“Her favorite color is orange,”
he says.
“Doesn’t that make this fitting?
Doesn’t that make this perfect,”
he chokes.
Dated: October 31, 2009
Today I watched a man
flood his soul on the shoes
of people who believe
they can know what this feels like,
as though death were understandable,
and reasonable;
but he’s 53.
His oldest daughter is only 22,
he’s just watched the love of his life
slip away like fog burnt off
she’s just seen her mother
crumble beneath the embraces,
what tidal wave is this?
What test is this, he asks us from the front?
Do we claim to know,
he begs,
do not claim to know.
And I cannot.
I cannot imagine:
a diagnosis of
1 week left.
There is no ‘reasonable’ to cancer.
There is no understanding to be had in death.